Two Roads Diverged In a Yellow Wood... Part 2

[chasingpavements]

Hey CP, just checking in.

Sounds like things are going pretty decent. Don't think you should back slide now with a personal boundary of needing to "know" yet. Be happy with progress, you cant shorten this process no matter how hard you try. Take the progess with a smile on your face, and no pressure. Your doing great.

Hey FlyonTheWall... thanks for checking in! How are things with you? Hope everything is well. I felt I needed to set a personal boundary because this limbo was really getting to me. I know that DB'ing is supposed to help you detach so you don't get caught up or affected by everything. For a while there H and I were really tense around each other and he was acting so cold, and it felt he always wanted to escape being around me. I was getting this feeling that I was an inconvenience in his life and he wished that I was not around, and it was really starting to depress me and cause me anxiety. I have never gone through anything like this before!

So I set the personal 'time limit' because I knew that I could not handle feeling the pain and anxiety for months on end (without things changing or getting better). Funny thing was that immediately after I set the time boundary, things started improving between us. We were getting along all of the sudden, laughing, joking, having fun, doing things as a family, and actually hanging around each other and enjoying it! what?!!

So now that things are better and improving, I can handle this a LOT better. I feel so much relief.

I also feel that I have done A LOT of thinking over the past 6 months months, since BD. I have analyzed everything to death and thought over every little detail a million times. Trying to imagine every possible outcome and the consequences. If he wants to leave, I am not going to stand in his way. If he wants to stay in this limbo, I can handle it so long as things at least remain how they are now, or improve. I no longer feel the need to label what status our relationship is. If he wants to work on things I realize that will also take time. Sorry for ranting on Fly!

Take care.