"Where does my W no longer wanting to participate in whole family activities, or fun activities with me, lead?"

I don't understand the question. Are you saying that she's not participating in anything right now? If so, that's her choice.

"Sleeping alone downstairs, away from the kids, preceded by 3 hours of being alone after dinner, is no fun. I feel like I am being punished."

Are you talking about you or your W? Is she the one sleeping alone downstairs with the alone time?

M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER