Yes, and I have book club on Monday nights, and I go to a dance class, and yoga and I need my quiet meditation time in the morning, there's my game group, then there're semi-regular coffee dates with friends...
GAL really does work.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Bug, it made me smile to read your update. When I think of you, and all of the wonderful words of advice you have given me and so many others, I feel calm and remember to respond not react. I also remember to stay my course and leave others to themselves. Don't think about what may happen....always enjoy the here and now. Your journey inspires me.
Bug is a superhero.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Thanks, busting, you know what a long road this has been. We've gone months at a time and not communicated. at. all. I think we've always liked each other, we only had that intense fiery anger around the time of bomb drop.
Val asked about fear, and there is some there but I know that no matter what happens I'll still be 'closer to fine.' I've gotten pretty good at silencing that voice inside my head that constantly critiques and advises and stay in the moment, acting on what's in front of me.
Whatever, I'm here right now because I'm supposed to be here right now. I'm going to go forward with an open heart and appreciate whatever happens.
It's clearer today that he's ready to try something. Not sure what that is right now. We texted off and on over 4 hours last night. We've never done that, ever. In fact, there was a time when he didn't even respond to my texts unless there was a specific question about the sons that needed an answer.
Before last Sat I hadn't laid eyes on him for a couple of months.
We'll see.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Whatever comes of this, I am so glad that you have found your true (and wonderful) self on this journey. I am glad that you looked within and found happiness. Of course, I wish for you to have the icing on the cake, too.
You sound better and better every day and I am thrilled for you You are and have been a source of inspiration for me - hopefully some day I will get there too.
(((((((bug)))))))
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
Does it feel like time has healed old wounds? Or after such a long time without each other does it feel like a completely new R (irrelevant of where it goes)?
M36 W31 S4 S2 T5 M4 BD Jan12 S July12 Recon Sep12-Nov12 ILBINILWY Jan13 OM x 2 in 2013 W wants R July 13 I start D. Jan 14. Meet GF Nov 13 Have I changed enough? Jul 14
Thanks T, K_g and SD, I've learned something from all of you.
Had my IC appt yesterday and I told her that H was showing interest. SD, you'll appreciate this, her comment: Let it unfold if you want, enjoy it, explore but think, "Isn't this interesting?" No lie!
This woman (my IC) appeared in my life at just the right time, I am so grateful for her. Her other advice was to keep myself at the center of my thoughts and actions, not to be selfish but to protect my self worth. Great advice for me, as if you give me an inch I can take a mile and I could be controlling things once again. In subtle ways of course but it's still controlling.
T, to your questions, has time healed old wounds? For me, yes, that's a part of it but I am a very different person. I see the world and R in a whole new light, a more adult light. I can be happy on my own, I don't need constant validation, I see how we each hurt the other because of our unmet needs.
I can't really speak for him, we haven't gotten to the point of talking about this. But we all need to get far enough beyond the pain to be able to look at things objectively. But you have to acknowledge the hurt and then let it go.
It does feel like a different R. I'm different, so he's different in response to that. (just like it says in DB) If things go forward, I know we will have things we need to work through but I don't want to bring the past with me. It's over, I want to look forward and face things as they happen with new tools.
It's all very interesting.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
I was reminded of one of my favorite keb'mo' songs, Suitcase:
I got a suitcase, I take it everywhere I go I got a suitcase baby, I take it everywhere I go It's just a big old bag of trouble, trouble all I know
I met a girl, fell in love And our love was true I met a girl, fell in love Ooh, our love was true
Well and I found out, Lord she had a big old suitcase too Lord, so we put our bags together, made a home for two People we put our bags together, you know made a home for two Then along came the children, gave them all a suitcase too
Well the house got too small, the bags got too big We was holdin'on to everythin', whatever said or did Well I complained about the salt, in the black eyed peas Then she put her hand on her hip and she told me to leave And take my suitcase, and get on out that door You gonna hear from lawyer, I can't take it no more
I had to get down on my knees, beg her to let me stay I had to get down on my knees and beg her to let me stay I said baby, we got a whole lot of baggage Let's call somebody and have it hauled all away
I got a suitcase, I take it everywhere I go People I got a suitcase, I take it everywhere I go It's a big old bag of trouble, I don't need no more
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
WOW Bugsy. I don't come here as often as I once did. But I'm glad I stopped by and read your update. Pretty interesting.
"At present, the whole bed is mine, I have books in the bed next to me, I can move all I want in the bed and not worry about disturbing anyone, I wake up on my schedule"
That^^^^cracked me up.:) Yeap I completely understand this and I'm loving my new freedom. even though I'm seen someone is very different. And yes you change as a person in this journey. The one thing I learned is that at the end the LBS gets to decide. Good job my friend lots of luck I'm rooting for ya
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
