Suckerpunch, moving ahead one way or another!

[lovethehub]

I am not saying that I am open to him coming here, but I do know I will have to get passed this sort of thing eventually. I cringe to think what it will be like for me, if he shows up to some of my daughters school activities, with the way I feel now....geeeeez.

I do know it hurts much more to see it, than it does to simply know it's happening. While it is upsetting to know that wife has moved into a new committed relationship, last week when I saw them in person it hurt

I know it hurts. I have been through it and I know it is very, very painful. I also know that it hurts more to see them, unfortunately, it is the reality and you do have to deal with it. I agree it is disrespectful, and I know it hurts more when they got together while you were M, we are just trying to encourage you to be the bigger man. It will be very painful regardless of how you handle it so why not handle it in a way that you can look back on and respect yourself for? Right now, your pride will like throwing him off the property. When you look back one day, and you two (hopefully) have a co-parenting R that works for D, you can have self respect knowing that you took the high road.

You can even text her back and let her know that, although it is rude and disrespectful, you have decided that it is only D you care about and therefore, YOU have made the decision to improve the co-p R. Let her know that because of that you have decided you don't care what she does as long as D isn't negatively affected. That way she won't think it is her last text about the cops that 'made you back down'.

As for activities, he will most likely be attending them. How do you handle this? You act like you don't care at all. Once the event is over you go home and work out, scream, have a beer with a buddy, whatever you have to do to let it go. It will get better with time, I promise. When you have to grin and bear it, just think of your D and remember that you are doing this FOR HER.

I am going to let wife run around, play, vacation and what have you, while I start to focus more on the important aspects.

Yes, focus on finances and your D. However, don't forget to focus on yourself, too, you are just as important.

La, you're right. I am broken because of myself. I allowed this all to affect me very deeply. I need to stop that, but HOW?

How? GAL. I don't recall reading much of anything you are doing in this area. I am not saying you aren't but I don't recall if you are or not. If not, get out there and start doing it.

Find a counselor to talk to so you can come to terms with your feelings about it and have a place to get it all out. You wouldn't be human if it didn't affect you deeply, and it will for a while. It isn't that it is affecting you deeply, it is that you aren't really dealing with the emotions you are experiencing. That is why this situation (OM at campground) is easy to latch on to, there is something you can DO about it. It isn't about whether W is right or wrong to do it, we all agree it is wrong. Unfortunately, she can do whatever she wants and she doesn't seem to care