Taking A Stand; What's my Position?

[Mimi00]

Well it has been 7 days since I last talked w/ H. This is the first week since BD that we haven't had some sort of communication. As stated before, not calling/texting him is easy for me, especially at this point, he's usually the one to at least text and ask "how are you?" by his point. So... yeah...haven't heard anything from him.

Outside of H, this week has been frustrating. I am normally a slightly forgetful person, but the last few days it has been much much more than usual. I've had to turn around, go back to places, to get stuff I'd forgotten several times this week. Very important stuff. It's even cost me money that I really couldn't afford to spend (had to call a lock smith out to unlock at 1 am for a residential door b/c I left my keys, phone etc... inside. Ridiculous things like that.)
So this first week being in a new place has been a struggle financially.

I only had around $200 in my personal checking after the hotel stay, and paying rent/deposit etc...on my own. In our joint checking there was $800 but H removed $500 and put it in our savings (only thinking about his needs, since he's single in his mind) on the day I moved, leaving us w/$300...then b/c he insisted on getting his phone fixed $200 of that was used leaving $100 for both of us (mainly him b/c I don't use much money from our joint checking. When we get paid, I transfer a small amount, to my personal checking and leave him w/ the bulk b/c he has school loans and other major bills that come out of there). I also saw H's personal account was close to nothing as well, so he ended up having to pull out $200 back out from the $500 he put in savings to continue to manage the rest of the week himself.


I know it's not my issue anymore, but H plans on purchasing a new vehicle and get a new apartment in November, I wonder how he plans to manage as things are pretty tight already. He plans to get an Audi truck (now that we are no longer together he has expensive taste...) and pay $1,000 a month for rent starting in November, on top of all that "Wonderland" in general is a very expensive place to live (he had a car before he went to "Wonderland" that he insisted on taking with him b/c he claimed he needed to get around, purchase groceries etc... I told him it was a bad idea as lived in walking distance from his job and a straight shot 15 min bus ride from a food market. He didn't listen to me and drove the car to "Wonderland" it broke down beyond repair as soon as he arrived.)


Where I am living is fairly expensive too. But I've always been the "frugal" one, keeping groceries under $400 a month for two people, prioritizing what we need now and what can wait in general, saving money in our nest account and never touching it. He'd never even had a savings account before we met. It was very hard for him to not touch our savings until we went to counseling and she was able to change his opinion.
So I am allowing him to be "free", taking money from the savings whenever, not nagging. He plans to build the savings back up, but then use what he saved for the down payment on the expensive truck. Then start from scratch again....

Good luck H...good luck.

Once I start getting paid from my new job, that should help us both out as it will be several hundred more than I was making at my old job. I'm hoping he'll see the benefits of a 2nd income (though it wont be THAT much more since I now have my own rent to pay).... we'll see how that goes.