Falling Down 100....Getting Up 101

[RosaLinda]

Good for you Portia, for being to the point where you want to tell SO to stick his "lots of changes" in his ear. Or even lower

I'm glad that the shadow of grief from the loss of your old R doesn't overwhelm you as much anymore. It's hard to squash hope when you are a naturally hopeful person. I remember reading somewhere, don't think it was on this forum, that the opposite of love is NOT hate, it is apathy. And that to feel hate for someone means that you still have a lot of feelings for them.

I hate my H sometimes too. But most of the time I squash those feelings down and project the hate onto the Russian Tramp, although in my heart I know their relationship is both of their faults it's a lot easier for me to blame it all on her.

Maybe some day we will both be able to detach enough that we can feel apathy as to whether our SOs are alive or dead, happy or sad, have good changes or bad changes. I'm not sure.

Following Bright's guidelines, I should be able to get over my H in 3 years and 2 months. But when does the guideline start? When you detach enough to realize it is never going to work out? BD#1, BD#2?