Me 10 months on. Dark and detaching still.

[hotwheelsaust]

Ok this is going to be a little bit long, but I need to work out what and how to procede. I have just came back from a meeting with my boss the principal. I haven't done anything wrong, but he brought up quite a lot of issues that has him worried:
* Firstly that I have lost a lot of weight and look downbeat.
* That I am not listening to other teachers when they talk to me. This is presumably when they say "get over it" or "move on" rather than on a professional level.
* They worry that I may cause harm to myself.
* They worry when I had 3 alcoholic drinks at dinner last week, when I don't normally drink.
* The boss worries about my behaviour if and when the transfer doesn't come in. He doesn't seem positive about the transfer either.
* Also the W has contacted her principal about the tattoo picture and she (W) is worried about my behaviour, thinking that I am out of control.
* The boss even went to the point to say he checked up on who to visit, if and when I feel I need to worry about myself (ie: depressed or suicidial)

What scares me about all this, including the W's view, is I have tried very hard to be positive at work. To try and improve myself, and after 10 months I am still (in others view) coming across as someone who is very depressed, showing a less than positive outlook and who seems to be on the brink of disater.

Even scarier is that the W feels this way about me. But isn't prepared to talk to me.

Heck, I don't know what to think now. In the 10 months have I done everything wrong? Have I displayed a bad personality to everyone? Do I just simply come across as a bitter and depressed LBS? Is the lack of talking to the W, causing this as well? What have I done to make the W think I am in trouble or out of control in life?

I do know that no fellow teacher or my W have said these things to be nasty, it just makes me wonder that, if I feel an improvement in myself, but it doesn't come across that way. Then what the heck can I do to be better?

How can I hope for any R with the W, if she is thinking of me as someone loony ready to do damage to myself?

I am simply lost for words and actions. I don't know which way to turn. Do I talk to the W and work out some things to make her view differently. Do I stop talking/doing things with staff members so that nothing bad gets said?

It simply feels that I am coming across as the bad person in this separation? That the W is justified doing based on what people view me as being/doing.