Just in case you think you are totally alone, I want you to know that I agree with you. I think it is a legitimate boundary and you have a right to be upset about it.
You are also still married. Even though she has emotionally left and you are physically seperated, she has no business being with the OM, let alone bringing him to your property.
I think you are 100% right.
But, I am reminded a lot lately that life isn't fair and I can't imagine what you have to gain by fighting this fight. Apparently you like the drama. Like someone else said, it is time to let it go.
This is a hard lesson that I am trying to learn myself.
