Bright New Day

[alaskangal]

((((Pam))))

I so know how you must be feeling. I sit in my house and think about boxing things up so H can have the house and s and I can move out and I get so sad. I can't afford the House and he can and it was my dream house that we designed together. I will have to get rid of my dog...H can't keep him because of his work schedule...and my whole life and my son's whole life will be changed for the worse economically.

But...perhaps, the silver lining is that son and I will be spiritually, mentally, and emotionally better off...as you will be. We will be free of the chaos. We will be free to start anew. We will be free to find our BRIGHT NEW DAY.

You can do this. If we can, so can you. Hugs, prayers, and best wishes...Akgal

[sage]

Hey Missy -- My day has been horrendously busy...sorry I haven't been posting! I hope that you are doing AOK?

How 'bout some "homework" to help put some actions against these fears? I KNOW you can do this...and I'm gonna say that breaking these worries into manageable chunks and then beating them to the GROUND is gonna get you PLACES!

I'm going to get you started...

Of being alone, not that I am afraid living in the house by myself now, but I don't know all I need to know about taking care of a house if I had one.

What actions could you take against this fear?

Suggestions:
Identify biggest concerns in the house and put a "plan" against them

Get some books out of the library (Home Depot how to books are good) so that you can SEE that many house things are doable

Put together a list of people resources who could help

Etc

But mostly of never having anyone to laugh with, to share with, to love again.

All the actions in the world won't completely dispel this fear of course. You can break this down, though, and think about the things that make you feel good....and figure out if there are people in your life now who could share them with you...then also make some outgoing steps to bring more people into your life. How did you meet CHL?

Financial insecurity is a big one. If my car goes down no way can I afford another one, and if I could just dealing with trying to find one and all that mess scares me.

What's the likelihood that your car will fail?
Make a list of parts of your car that worry you. What preventive things could you do now?
Buying a car (even a used one) has changed dramatically in the last few years, Pam. There's SO much information on prices available on the web that consumers now have the upper hand.
Go to some websites to investigate car buying.
Etc.


I'm going to leave the rest for you to initiate some thoughts on your own...

I DO want to say ONE VERY IMPORTANT THING...when talking about financial stuff, please don't post SPECIFICS (what you own, what it's worth, etc). I'd be uncomfortable thinking that my posts to you might encourage you to divulge something too personal.

Break these down into teeny, tiny baby steps, Pam. what's the FIRST thing you could do to feel more comfortable meeting people? What's the FIRST step you could do to address the health care concern, etc.

Being able to afford to keep the kids health cared for, right now that is slipping some. I got B in for her bloodwork but no one else has been in for check up or shots or bloodwork in forever.

No health insurance

Even taking care of my car. Right now I know it has something wrong with it. It is making a noise and I'm afraid to take off in it on a trip. See I told you I am afraid of everything.

I am afraid of meeting people but I usually do fairly well with it. I think several of the regular Sunday morning clerks and people where I grocery shop recognize me now as I usually smile and speak.

No safety net of someone else working if something happens with this job.

Being lonely, sometimes I wish I had someone to do something with, not often, I am becoming a pretty good hermit.

Sage

[psluke]

Hey PIB,

Just got off the phone with G, he is going to set up another meeting with his friend, who he is seeing to play golf with tomorrow.

I thought you would be glad to know that this afternoon.

[psluke]

I get off work in less than an hour and if I make it, I am determined! I won't have contacted D at all today.

Normally there is no contact over the weekends, so that will be 3 days of no contact, we have gone much longer but I am taking it a day at a time the way I feel right now.

[alaskangal]

Hope you made it...that would be an awesome achievement.
I'm rooting for you, sweetie!

[Zoo]

Hey BOOBY {{{{{{{}}}}}

If yo are that worried about your car why didnt you say something on IM?? Cars are one of my myriad specialties I taught H a great deal of what he knows about cars now so I don't have to worry about it anymore Of course that doesn't mean I still don't go out and fiddle around once in awhile

The nice thing about the newer cars is that they operate off of systems which an onboard computer monitors regularly. If the system isn't working right then your going to get a check engine light coming on. Some of the newer cars even have this come on when it is time to do maintenance (change oil, fluids, etc). When you say you hear a noise...well that is pretty vague Could be a pebbel in one of your tires or ice on the bottom of the chassis rubbing when you hit a pothole D those aren't serious...just kicked the ice loose and the pebble will go away when you get new tires

To be honest hon, if the noise is bothering you that much take your car to Midas or one of those places. They will inspect your car for free and if something is wrong they will give you an estimate for the repairs. Then you can comparison shop for a better price if necessary. You can also check out your community BB and stuff...some places offer free basic car care classes for women.

Here is another car tip too...if you need new windshield wipers, are worried about your battery or alternator or just curious about that noise...go to your local retail Autoparts places (I wont say names cause I am biased). The fellas there are always willing to help a "clueless" woman and will go out and check those things for you as well...FOR FREE. The boys will replace your windshield wipers, battery, and some alternators ...FOR FREE. You would be surprised what they will do for a "damsel in distress" FOR FREE. I use to work for one of those palces and it is company policy to do those things without charging for them. Some of the guys will even do 'backyard mechanics" for a much lower cost then a commercial garage will and will do it BETTER then the commercial mechanic will. Just depends on who you talk to and how much you SMILE

There are always options hon, ALWAYS!!!

Let me know when you want a drywall, framing, canning, roofing or reptile breeding lesson...I'd be glad to help

LMAO!
Zoo

[Livnlearn]

Hey Zoo

There are always options hon, ALWAYS!!!

Let me know when you want a drywall, framing, canning, roofing or reptile breeding lesson...I'd be glad to help

Could you come over to my thread and spread some cheer there as well?

Livnlearn

[psluke]

Hey JJ,

It's Saturday night!!!

Don't you know you are supposed to be doing something fun????

[Jamesjohn]

Hey Pam!!

As "sick" as this may sound, I AM doing something fun for me!!

It's still early here on the west coast, and I am kinda "multi-tasking" here, being on the board while doing some paperwork type stuff I don't really enjoy doing!

Besides, seeing your smiling face here gets my evening off to a great start!!

[psluke]

Well, I'm glad to have been of assistance. Besides if I made you smile that makes my day a sucess doesn't it?


I belive I have joined the human race again!!! At least mostly. Side effects seem to have passed, upped dosage or less PMS and I have at least half of my brain back again!