Suckerpunch, moving ahead one way or another!

[MrCAS]

I can't tell you how to handle it. I can only tell you how I might handle it.

I can relate to being wound up. I know how I feel when I am there.

What do I do here?

I divide my brain and heart into two halves... Emotions to the left... Rational thoughts to the right... Have a seat, boys. Let's talk this out... Emotions, you have the floor... Speak your peace. Rational thoughts, you're up next... Okay, let's compromise.

Being strong doesn't mean I have to a dick or a bully. Being calm and compromising doesn't mean I have to be a doormat, either.

I owe myself an obligation to make myself as financially as whole as possible after my W divorces me. It doesn't make me a bad guy. Agreeing to terms in the property settlement doesn't mean I am caving in. Minnesota calls for "Fair and Equitable". It is mandated by the state. Why waste time, energy, and emotions for something that is going to happen anyways?

That is why I am not contesting the divorce. Delaying it is not going to stop it. What it does for me, though, is making easier to accept it. Acceptance is a big part of moving on. Acceptance takes a huge edge off of the pain.

I took ownership of what I did. I take ownership of what I do... how I react... the words that come out of my mouth. Anything my W has done or said didn't "make" me do anything. I chose my reactions.

So, what is your next step?