NERO FLOATING- throw that line.....

[RosaLinda]

Hi Nero! I hope all is well with you. Sometimes a break from the forum can be a good thing, although I have only managed about 36 hours so far without returning to my life line

[nero]

hey hi guys -

okay drive - got to nj fri nite. busy as usual - lots left undone as left here in big rush cause of aunt in fl in hosp- and so on. aunt in fla stablized & home with attendant.

so got here & whattyaknow- ended up taking my mom to hospital mon. (a=bad abdominal pain) and spending alllll day there til late at nite (er) and today mostly as well. infection of her colon & abcess! where the heck do these things come from??? good question- it's always something new ... poor old thing- she's doing ok and amazingly confused about it all- what else is new huh?

she must be on the mend tho- managed to tell me this morning my hair looked dry & my pants were faded ? who the heck notices this stuff when they're croaking in a hospitaL BED hooked to ivs? ?? oh well- she must feel more her old self or something- cripes!!! btw - i love these pants- they're very cool colofrul & & comfy to boot. what the heck does she know about lookin good anyway? i'm askin ya????

so- i'm tired, but have a few min of privacy to stop in. I miss everybody.

h was ok in fl - pleasant mostly. i still fnd it all wierd- the no affection thing in life. . that's really what is most different and missing in this life at present . that's the "THING" that'll get me in the end. whenever "the end" is....

oh well- he goes back down there thur. - overall it's better with someone around house in life- oh well huh???

idk when mother out of hospital- it's a strain trying to be the guy watching and second guessing doctors. it's amazing how much one hand doesn't know what the other is doing in hospitals- scary . since i have no particular medical training. eeek

now that i'm here i don't have anything to say- other than hi and arrived alive & doing okay.

and WHEW!!! TO everybody's ongoing "storeis" -

tOO MUCH junk going on in all our lives at this moment- we need some peace and sanity -(like the way i'm glumping us allll together at this moment???)

i guess i've got nothin - maybe some coffee will make my eyeballs stop aching - ta da!!!

yay caffeine - xxoo

[albamarie]

Neroooooo,

Well, another Fl trip behind you, I hope it was memorable. Sorry to hear about your momma.

Your H referred to you has his GF! You are about as along as I am, maybe it's time you start to see some change? Neither one of these goofs have really completely left our sides, whatcha think?

So my story is simple...h home, EA gone 2wks (not concentrating on that tho) H's anger slightly lost it's flame, and baby smells good!

I look forward to hearing from you.

<3 dm

[nero]

hey hiya man-

missed ya. no time at all it seems- i probably should be heading back to hospital- but don't want to run into "hate "sister. WHO even says dopey childish stuff like that anyway- "i hate you, everyone hates you, go move away- we don't want you here" ??? wtf??/ anyone with anger issues here????? etc."

cripes! and her point? something like she's soooo intellectually superior and her "status?" in life is sooo superior- we all (well, me) should genuflect alot more? how does one spell that anyway??? you know- kneel and kiss the ring.

eeeek!! i have no time or juice for this hostility and theatrics. i hope she's not wigging out or anything .

ANYWAY- i LOVED YOUR little summation:

So my story is simple...h home, EA gone 2wks (not concentrating on that tho) H's anger slightly lost it's flame, and baby smells good!

it sounds good to me. my own sitch: : h gone (as usual) - ow still his burning desire (gag gag apparently). h was v nice & v attentive w/ hospital, etc. - no affection or love tho (wah) still [censored] big time. miss the babies a ton - no kidding A TON!!! nothin to smell but hospital corridors- ick.

oh yeah- it $ucks to get old.

you're sounding good tho and that's major. i'm jealous as usual (ea gone 2 wks). i'm thinking that's huge, no? i'm happy for ya- keep sniffing that baby and trying not to think.

i'm gonna go call and see if results of 2nd cat scan- white blood cell count almost down to normal today - so that sounds huge -. it's raining.

Overall- i don't think i'm having any progress of any sort myself. he was uncharacteristically nice when leaving- but i'm thinking that is only the huge guilt knowing his tail is wagging about seeing his love woman- and i'm jerking around with hospitals, etc. NO LOVE - NO WHERE - no how. for this girl.

i'm oddly tranquil at moment- oh yeah- took a weenie tranquilizer- no wonder... still lost at sea- i can't read the signs anymore- and don't care to try. too much stuff going on around here.

xxoo glad you're good at the moment. i did begin to beef up and wrap bunches of vines from the stupid wysteria around my archway- it looks pretty swirlie and interesting. so did a tiny bit of gardening. garden is a giant mess- onward & upward huh???

maybe i'll paint the bedroom lavender or something interesting- can't decide- need a change tho- big time.

[uRworthy]

Hey Nero, sorry you are dealing with your mom's illness. I know it's tough.

Wanted to say hi. Hang in there. And yes, paint your bedroom. Go for it.

Still meeting Rosa on the 14th. Would love to meet up with you.

[job]

Nero,
I'm glad you arrived back home safe and sound. Painting your bedroom lavender sounds heavenly. It is actually a very peaceful color and there are so many shades of purple that you can w/it.

How is your mother doing? What about you? How are you doing? I know you've got a full plate, but please take some time for yourself when you get the chance.

[albamarie]

Hey Nero, I guess you talked about meeting up on Sept 14th with some posters, and you mentioned to me about maybe having a place to stay if I came back east to join you guys. Can you let me know where you are on that, the others are still planning on meeting up with you. One reason why I need you to make a FB.

I hope your mom is better. You sound good, even with what your going thru. We all could use some down time from all of this, it's been a long journey here Nero, I think it's aging me.

I will check in on you later today.

[nero]

hey hi -

slept late this a.m.- fnally one dr conference that seemed to be "positive" and took sleeping pill- guess the combiniation gave me some stinking sleep for a change.

my own computer upstairs is dying- i've been trying to just 'reawaken" it one last time to clear out the history. of course it died rite while i was in this forum- so when h opens it up or looks it over- i do not want my own rantings displayed for his amusement.

i'm on a crappy laptop downstairs and it keeps shutting off saying "timed out" about db page- so between that and being at the hospital every waking hour- haven't managed the face book thing-

I HAE A SNAGGLE (Sort of ) - h has plans to fly back up here on the 11th - of course screwinig up my plans - this was news to me when i took him to airport other day-0 - and (supposedly) my sister from fl says she's going to fly up with my neice's daughter (little darling angel) to show her where i live and stay with me while she goes to newark towork & so on. AS YET- not etched in stone - but i'd like it, she asks me all the time (baby) if she can come see my mommy and house , etc.

so i'm askin -

ANYWAY- UR AND LINDA AND DAWN TOO- is there any flexibility here about the date of sept. 14? with h gone (earlier than 11tgh) or (i thiink) after 21st - - i have my little house to self and anyone is welcome to stay... i have a little guest room and two couches- and my king bed so we could jam in. i haven't got a fixs on the shore house- been too busy with hospital to pin down whoever KNOWS WHO is doing whaaat, etc.

i don't think we'd have as good a time with him here - kidding- couldja die. maybe i should just jam everyon in and we could laugh and bitch our heads off and point at him from other room and he could just stick it all in his ear or go stay with my mom. THAT would be humorous- abut i think very uncomfortable for you all. and maybe for me too.

anyway- tell me about the flesxibility thing. i'd perfer to have my own total lack of other obligations when i visit- BUT if it's the only time in the universe - ...

i'm havin a bit of trouble seeing past geting my mother out of the damn hospital- in reasonable shape and someone (not me) stopping in on her if she's feeeeeeeble. hard for me to focus past getting some stinkin food or nutrition into her so she's not a total lump of jello to lug home from the hospital and begini allover again., each stay furthers her feebleness thru inactivity and mental acuity from looking at four stinking strange & boring walls. cripes....

let me know anyone about flexibility of date - if any.

dawn - you sound good- glad to hear that. linda - i ws thinkinig ofyou this morning- how similar we sound- wanted to throw in (again i'm surre) that little quote someone said - something like" sometimes courage comes not as a roar- but as a small voice in your mind saying - i'll do better tomorrow".

me and my cheesy proverbs - but i love them- idk why- just do.

ur- hiya- i've got to go get to the damn hospital- there are five or more stupid drs involved (none of whom knowher, give a damn- yet MUST BE part of this stupid process so they can all bill her) vying to chop her up and do surgery??? to drain this abcess (not necessary according to dr yesterday - the O NE SANE AND CONSERVATIVE AND LIKABLE dr so far) - but none of them apparently talk to each other- care to know what each other write or think- etc. i find it appaling the lack of communications and sheer number of new and unfamiliar people continually seeing her (someone's "assistant" and new face every single day- i am not even kidding here) and each one throwing around scary (and inaccurate) verbage - perforation of colon???j!QQ peritonitis, blockage, unknown blockage- for cripes sake.

THANK GOD i've got a brain and a tiny bit of medical sanity & knowledge- to question these jerks. they'd chop her up and leave her for dead if left to their own devices. (me ranting- in view of last hospitalization finishing with a (new) dr. trying to discharge her with a blood thinning drug prescription for her "heart attack" - as the patient across the hall) not kidding. ya wonder why i'm a nutjob here??

don't like b eing a dr and second guessing these guys. WHAT- FRAZZLED AND FEELING A THOUSAND _ WHO ME???

XXOO gotta go- will try later about fb, etc.

[uRworthy]

Hey Nero, I so understand your frustration with the doctors. I was responsible for both of my parents during their hospitalizations and ultimated their passing from lung cancer.

I remember how hard it was to talk to different doctors, one not knowing what the other is saying or doing. Trying to decipher it all and figure out what was best.

I feel for you, sweetie. One day at a time. You can only do what you can do.

As far as the date goes. I can only make it on a Saturday for the next few months as I work a second job on Sundays. Unfortunately Sept. 21 and 29th are not good for me, but, any Sat after that should be ok. I am not sure of the date of Rosa's trip.

Totally understand if the 14th is not good for you. But so want to meet you. And I know how much Dawn and Rosa do, too..

Try to get on FB. Makes it easier to make plans.

Hang in there, my friend.

[uRworthy]

Oops, meant 28th not good.