Ruby, I’ve been following with your thread, but was not posting anything. Needed to reflect on my thoughts. You have lots of good points that resonate with my state of mind right now. The decision to change, the feelings of LBS behavior, the fear you have that you might realize that H is not what you want, etc. I keep being amazed at how you handle your sitch. I don’t think I could do the same in similar situation. I think I’m becoming more selfish in a sense that I don’t want to spend time and effort on somebody who doesn’t want me.
Can’t wait for your updates on SE2.
M:50 H:52 S28 (my S from previous marriage) M:17 + 3 BD: 06/12 S: 06/12 - H works in another state
Thanks BF...will let you know tomorrow ...or rather, today
H texts me tonight and says, after some convo:
My friend (his BFriend) says he has someone he wants me to meet. She is smart, funny, same personality but different, you and she would click. H says "who" BF says "Ruby"
H just sighs.
Tells me that I am intelligent, caring and amazing,
Tells me the most amazing thing that I did was comment, right after ngf's ex called the house, was to feel compassion for ngf ( I said no one should have to put up with that crazy).
He said it blew his mind how I could think like that.
But I did. Because H said he would take care of it and I knew he would, even at his own detriment, he would for me and his family. NGF has no one to do that for her. And I just felt sad.
Now?? Now that I have started to live my own life and started to see other people?
If this is the push pull dynamic, it has been upped and I am not prepared.
And why do I feel so scared and sad and I don't know instead of happy that this has occurred???
Oh Ruby girl! I just caught up. I think I need to lie down. Whew!
LOL!!!! You're doing great!!! But I gotta say, Act 3, Scene, 4 "Crazy Drunk Calls from NGF LBS"... that would have scared the bee-geezuz out of me too!
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
His dynamic is his dynamic. When we attempt to interpret other people's actions, we often interpret based on our "stuff." How would it help you to know what it is? He probably doesn't know.
He's just doing.
Like yourself, love yourself, do something nice for yourself today.
Let him spin in his own little universe far enough away that it doesn't affect your gravity. You can do that with love.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Ruby, take care of yourself and climb down off the circus ride your husband seems to want you on. (((R)))
Originally Posted By: labug
His dynamic is his dynamic. When we attempt to interpret other people's actions, we often interpret based on our "stuff." How would it help you to know what it is? He probably doesn't know.
He's just doing.
Like yourself, love yourself, do something nice for yourself today.
Let him spin in his own little universe far enough away that it doesn't affect your gravity. You can do that with love.
Bug you friggin rock...
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
