Hello, my sweet friend. First of all, I hope you are doing ok with your eyes.
I wanted to just write a few things, if I may. I know how hard it is to decide what is the right course of action for your sitch. And we are all giving different opinions. You just take what you agree with.
Rosa, if you are casually touching him from time to time and it doesnt seem to be bothering him and more importantly you want to, then that is what you should do. But it is important to monitor actions.
Having said, that, I understand what FY said about LL, etc. But the thing with MLC is that the reason for them wanting out of the marriage is not because of anything we did or didnt do.
While there were things in our marriages and ourselves that needed changing,I think the reasons for the way they feel are not because we didnt speak their LL's. It is because they are broken and in crisis.
So, there is a fine line to be walked for sure. The MLCer wants to be heard. And so, if the spouse continues to act in a way that seems as if they dont understand that the MLCer wants out of the marriage, it can cause anger and resentment. They are saying to themselves, did she not hear me?
The thing that is important for you, RL is this. We can see how you are affected by his words and actions. And if we can see it, he surely can.
I know how hard you are working toward detachment. I know that it is counterintuitive to how you want to act.
You need to act if he is not coming back. Now, dont panic here, Linda. I am not saying that because I think that is what is going to happen. I am saying it because you need that mindset in order to move forward.
You need to live your life without regard to his actions or reactions. GAL, try new things, change your look. For you. If you feel like spending time with him at night, then do it, just not everytime. Change things up. Do what you want to do.
The upside of that is you become your best you. You become strong and confident. And that is very attractive, ya know?
When they come out of this, they are forever changed. They dont want to come back to the same marriage. And neither, really, should you. You want to have a new marriage. One that is based on who you have both become,
