Cas, My ranting and raving about kicking her out and moving her stuff was based on hurt and anger. Nobody can teach you how to keep those feelings from coming. All that can be done is to learn how to process them in a healthy manner. I realized quickly that it was wrong to think I needed to act so harshly. I controlled it, my actions that is. That doesn't mean the thoughts don't cross my mind. Of course they do.
Cas, let me ask you this. You live alone in your house. Your wife has full access to it legally, you say. So, how would you feel if she decided this coming weekend to throw a party in the backyard and bring her new boyfriend and his buddies over? Now, you're going to have to be there because this is your job, as well as your home. You will pretty much HAVE to witness this taking place right in front of your eyes. Please answer me honestly, because I think you are being very hypocritical about my feelings and actions. If the roles were reversed, I think you would feel quite differently. My wife DOES have unfettered access to my house, apartment and property. She comes and goes whenever and however she wants. I simply asked her to keep her boyfriend out from under my nose. When she informed me that she was going to bring him here, I got angry....Yep, I got angry for that. It's crazy, right? I surely need help with my anger management. Why??? because I have done nothing, other than ponder my options of what to do, and vented my frustration here? I was reeling in hurt and didn't know how to properly handle it. That is why I came seeking advice in the first place. I just wanted help on making a decision about how I could set this boundary.
