pay no mind to the demons; they fill you w/fear

[job]

WR,
Your h most likely heard from your lawyer and is trying to "rush" things along. Funny how they have a "drop dead" date by which time they want everything done and they are "outta here". I wonder what is up w/Christmas. Could it be the end of the year and he wants to start fresh in 2014? Time will tell on that one.

It's going to be interesting to see if you are going to be asked to pay a portion of the mortgage again. I think the man has money and just doesn't want to spend it on a mortgage or any other bill, even bills he's incurring. It's very sad that he doesn't or can't recognize that his family needs a place to live and the other necessities of life. But, the mlc journey is all about them and still that's not excuse for bad behavior when it comes to destroying others just because they aren't happy.

You definitely need to know what happened to the Honda. Bet he got rid of it and is using the money for fun things. If he's done that...another mess that will need to be cleared up.

I am very sorry that you and your boys are going through this. It is a nightmare and one that you don't wake up from for many months. Please, please take care of yourself. Your boys are relying on you to be the adult and take care of them as their father's not capable of doing so.

[RosaLinda]

Hi Rose, just catching up your thread. I hadn't realized yoy'd started a new one. So sorry you are going thru all of his heartache over money. I'm glad you found a lawyer who won't let H ruin you and the boys with his fantastic ideas about fairly dividing your assets and expenses. I think that even in amicable divorces, it's important to be business-like over money. 

How are your dad and father in law? Maybe I missed it but did you ever get any feedback about S18's dinner with H?

[Whiterose]

Snodderly,
He's had the fact he wants the house dealt with my September in his head since the day he left . I guess he's thinking if the house is dealt with by September then he gets his money by Christmas. He probably wants them to have a place to visit. Christmas is always a very big deal for us. Most holidays are but I go all out with decorations and baking cookies for a month before etc.
thank you for your kind words.

Hi Linda
No worries you've had lots going on. Hope you're ok.
I don't seem to have much to stand on with re to division. He gets half. Nothing I can do. Doesn't matter what happened.
My dad gets his gallbladder removed in the next while and FIL is home and, from what I understand, feeling better.
Both boys went to dinner with H. They said it was fine. S18 said S14 barely talked to H. I told him at least he went. H finally messaged S14 yesterday and talked on the phone for an entire minute and a half. It had been 8 days since any contact. S18 continues to message/talk to him daily. He's angry but it's his dad

This is anything but amicable but certainly not through my fault. He told our friend, the one he's still talking to, that he hopes we can be friends just not now.

[Whiterose]

On the way to the mortgage broker to see what my options are....could really use some prayer.

thanks guys

[RosaLinda]

you got it Rose! Think positively!

[Whiterose]

thank you Linda
It went OK.....she's a great broker and has worked with lots of women in my situation. My parent's are going to have to guarantee/co-sign (which we knew) but she's going to talk to various lenders to see who will work with me.

I have more work to do. Have to have the separation agreement signed off on to guarantee what I'm getting. Need to get an appraisal done, but I won't tell him I'm getting one just yet, he can get his own.

While I was there H emailed me (didn't know I was going) only a long subject line message
"I'm guessing by the lack of response your (should I correct his grammar??? lol) not willing to have somebody do a proper appraisal?"

I have not responded yet either.....I was thinking of saying something along the lines "you need to do what you think is best for you" Any thoughts?

I was dreading this all yesterday and this morning. Been crying the entire time. Heard Katy Perry's new "Roar" song (anyone else LOVE it????) and then of course Mumford and Sons "I will wait" came on the radio.....just about my undoing but I do feel better. Still a long road but she didn't laugh me out of her office so I'll take that as a win for now

[kml]

NO - just reply "Of course I'm willing to have an appraisal. When would you like to schedule it?"

[Whiterose]

really kml? that seems "too nice" no?

[kml]

Emotional aikido - he's expecting resistance, you surprise him with appearing willing and able to move on.

Drop the rope.

[TSquared2]

Emotional aikido - he's expecting resistance, you surprise him with appearing willing and able to move on.

Love it ^^^^^ !!