My H's LL are WOA and AOS. Those are the ones FY and Wonka recommend I give him in mini doses.
When you do these things, notice/log the response you get from him. Do more of what works, less of what doesn't. Try not to get caught in the "rules" or dynamics of what people advise you - pay attention to the verbal and non-verbal cues and use your smarts and intuition to decide before proceeding. If he's in a really crappy mood, you probably won't want to embark on giving him WOA. (That would piss me off.) Instead, tone it down and go for validation instead. Acknowledge that he seems off and leave it at that. See if that gets him to open up?
Remember your goal: to draw him closer to you. He's not a cookie cutter and your recipe is not a sure fit for every circumstance, so play around with it some?
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Although my H's is WOA, I think that your idea to stop multitasking and pay close attention while he is talking is really important to my H.
Linda, I think this is good advice for ALL relationships. I hate talking to people when they really aren't listening. It makes me feel not important enough to engage with me. It's one thing if you're having a quick convo, but not a true exchange of information.
I'm also not saying it's fair of him to ask you to sit and watch TV with him all the time. It's a balanced thing. My LL is QT. It's enough for someone to read next to me while I watch the baseball game.
Balance. IF your M was where you want it to be, there would be fairness and a genuine concern about him speaking your LL too. But sadly, you're not there yet so keep on trucking.
Just remember to do more of what works. Put your focus there.
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
