We did have a nice time at the beach with the family, and it think it's good that we were able to do that. Ever since we've been in this 'limbo' H has been so awkward around me, like he doesn't know how he should be acting around me.
But for the past week and a bit he has lightened up. We've started watching Breaking Bad together on the couch most evenings, so I guess he is not afraid to be around me anymore! haha. For a while he seemed desperate to leave the house and get out for walks or work in the basement. Why is he so afraid of me! I am 14 inches shorter than him and petite! haha. I am the least intimidating person you would ever meet!
I know people say to not be 'waiting' while all of this is going on, yet it is SO hard to not feel that way. We really don't know if we are going to continue on together or separate. I keep thinking awful thoughts like that I should ask him to fix things around the house 'before he decides to leave'. I am not sure how to stop thinking that way. I guess I am just being realistic.
I suppose I don't need to focus on putting a label on our status right now, but the longer this goes on, the more I feel like I would like to know for my own well-being. I guess that's where my own personal boundary comes in with how long we are able to go on how we are, without knowing.
Another thing is that things seem to be improving between us. For months H was distant and cold and now he is opening up to me. Baby steps I guess! It is so much easier now with H acting nicer to me around the house. I thought I was going to go crazy before!
Have a great week everyone, thanks for your support!
-cp
M: 8 yrs T:14 Twins:7 S:5 BD:'NLILWY': Feb/2013 Mar/Apr/May: MC June: "living in limbo" Sept 12: H moves out Oct 20: reconciling Jan-Feb 2014:MC Feb 2014: separating, and H moved out.
