My H was a lot like your W in low self-confidence. We took an expensive personality survey a few years ago and he came out a 1 or 2 in confidence on a scale of 10. So I always felt part of his MLC was learning to be a natural, confident person. It wasn't just about running away from me.
Wow, I must have missed or forgotten this in your sitch. W had/has low self confidence/esteem too. In his books Andrew Marshall refers to a period some go through during life transitions he calls "Personal Reinvention". This sounds like it would describe your H, since you said he's now like a different person. What level would you say his confidence level is at now?
Do you thank the girls he hung out with for helping him get there?
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He seemed to methodically plan and proceed with D with uncanny focus.
For mine, planning D just seems too much trouble, especially when life at home is pretty comfortable. (like yours, right T^2?) Like I've said many times, it seems I may tire of this before her.
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So..just to tell you I've had the same fears and your W and my H share a lot of similarities. I have actually worried about your sitch in the middle of the night b/c you don't have kids and that is a different factor. Would she want to run more b/c there are no ties to kids?
Awww, that's sweet. It seems to reason that no kids means no additional reason to stay.
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But W has stayed. She is growing. She is asking herself who she is and who she wants to be.
And I think...just like they come to the realization one day that their spouse is the problem...one day they will come to the realization that their spouse is part of the solution!
There can always be hope for a better M. That's why I'm here... not to make a better me without W. (although that may be a side benefit)
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
