25, I respect your input GREATLY. I cannot express how much I have missed your insight, but what I am about to say is how I feel. I am not sure, but perhaps you have not been following my posts very closely. You seem to be far off base.
First, my family HAS been putting a roof over her head and paying her bills. She chose to walk out the door and abandon our home. It was HER choice to leave. By no means did my Mother or anyone else hold a burden of responsibility to support her. She is a grown woman and made her own decision to leave. She has been given a gift of good grace! If you think otherwise, that is your perspective, not mine.
I never tried to bully or frighten OM away. Your claim is absolutely false. Also, she DOES NOT have a legal right to bring him to my property. Again, you are wrong, and wife is wrong. I have every right not to allow him here. But, I want to be clear. I have never spoke ONE word to OM, never even met him. I haven't mentioned a WORD about him to wife either. No threats were made and no words were discussed. I simply said that he would not be allowed on my property. I set a boundary. And, you are wrong again, because she DID follow up by forcing the issue and stating that she had every intention of bringing him here against my wishes.
I never said I am no longer "material". I am and always have been. That hasn't changed. Wife was the one that said material things were not important to her. Now, she wants 40k, child support, half of my retirement, 1000 dollars every summer, medical and dental coverage for D and half of our belongings. If she doesn't get that, she wants to fight me for a portion of a business that has been in my family longer than she has been alive.
I am not loaded for bear or out of my mind. I don't need anger management. I am not depressed, and I don't need ADs. I do however need good advice, and that is why I came here. I am in control of my emotions. I came here to seek suggestions on how to handle this. Of course I am upset. Who wouldn't be upset? This situation is Bull Sh!t. But, I am not acting out of anger. I am acting out of, "I have had enough, and this needs to stop". In regards to the settlement, I have had two real estate agents come in and give me an assessment of the value of the home. It is worth what is owed, plain and simple. There is very little, if in fact NO equity. Why do you feel wife is entitled to the 28k she paid into it? That is asinine. We are splitting ASSETS, not past payment records! I have spent a lot of money in the past too! unfortunately, I don't get it all back because I am getting divorced. Wife does deserve something in the form of a settlement, but it needs to be realistic and based upon OUR relationship, not the property or assets of others. We own some furniture, a couple cars and at one point a home. FYI, a payment has not been made on the house in roughly a year. In the "real world", the house would have already been foreclosed on and we would owe the bank for the remaining balance.
I have offered wife half of our belongings, half of my retirement, state appointed child support and all of the money I have in the bank. The house is worth what is owed, therefore there is no real value if it were to be sold and split evenly. What more can I offer?
I just don't get why you feel that I am so horrible? The decision to put an end to my family unit was not mine. The choice for wife to walk away was not mine. None of these choices were mine, but you make it seem like I am carrying the burden of the blame. Why do I deserve to take a hard financial hit, and gain absolutely nothing so that wife can be "taken care of"? It was her decision to no longer have me care for her! Why do I have to bury myself in a mountain of debt that I cannot afford, so that she can better her life? What about MY life, 25?
