Me 10 months on. Dark and detaching still.

[stilllookingup]

This also will be the last time I talk about the tatoo. When I posted last week to tell you people who saw the pic might have interpreted it differently than you did, you came back and said "They all knew what the tatoo meant" Well I get they do but my point was how they interpreted the purpose of your posting it.

You said it yourself you hadn't been posting much for a long time and you posted the pic. Just think what other people have thought about the sudden chane? One might think "oh it's the tatoo he was talking about. Well looks like he wants to tell the world he's done" or "that's the tatoo he was talking about... is he trying to make W look bad by posting it?" AS even interpreted exactly the same way I did. You even said it yourself you posted it because you were tired of being afraid of doing something without thinking about what W/family would think or say. That made me think what Wonka just said was spot on. Maybe you were subconsciously trying to get back to her by posting it. Like I said in the beginning, I didn't understand at all why you even decided to post it. It really made me scratch my head.

You know how hard it is to convey true meaning or feelings via texts or email? Same thing on FB. Your intention does not always come across the way you envision it to come out.

I thought twice or three times before I did anything related to H on FB. Changing status/profile pic, posting anything etc. While I can do whatever I want to do on fb, the last thing I wanted to do was to send a wrong message to him. He could interpret any action I do any way he wants. Now he de friended me I have my fb back. I started posting something funny that happened to me etc. Since 90% of my FB friends are my H's family and friends (my family and friends in my mother country dont use fb) they see how upbeat I am and not discussing anything to do with H. Every time I post, I get likes and "I miss you!" comments from his family and friends. So I actually really like what Wonka suggested about doing some damage control by posting very 180 upbeat status. But think hard before you do that. I'm just agreeing with Wonka's idea.

Always remember where you started HWA. Read your first thread. Stay as further away as possible from that old yourself. And don't say "I can't do anything right and W can do everything right" anymore.

Always rootin for you!