I really think what I'm trying to do as I stablize a bit more here emotionally is to find a direction and make some decisions for my life.

I know I CAN'T let the D go to the wire court date again without doing something about it. That decision will have to be made on what to do in the next few weeks. I wish I could bury my head in the sand and pretend it isn't out there but it is and I probably really can't run away, so I'm going to have to deal with it.

I think I have been focusing much more on that lately than on doing any dbing feeling that D has made his decision as he is spending the time he is with J.

On the other hand a part of me doesn't want to give up too soon. But I can't really see any changes in D at all, so I don't think I am.

I just need to get some direction and clear thinking going here!

I do think if there wasn't a court date that I would handle things more patiently here, but I really am not looking forward to another court date.

Pam

"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned
so as to have the life that is waiting for us"