She looked at a self-help book I had on the table and said I didn't need to read those anymore. I asked her what she meant.
Originally Posted By: AnotherStander
Your response should have been- "Yes I do, I'm doing this to make myself a better person."
That occurred to me almost as soon as I spoke. While I have been working hard to process and respond more thoughtfully, it is hard not to feel pushed when my wife is responding in rapid fire fashion.
Originally Posted By: Dragon Heart
I said that we had something great together and I still believed that we could have that again. She started to over generalize; used terms like always and never; as well as only see the negatives in our relationship. I asked that she not close the door and that I could never go back to who I was or the way things had been.
Originally Posted By: AnotherStander
Your response to this was a poor one. You're arguing with her feelings. When you do that the WAS drags out the "always" and "never" ammo just as she did. Don't forget Sandi's tips, especially at times like that!
You are right of course. I am slowly learning to break my old communication habits with her. I will endeavor to commit Sandi's tips to memory.
Originally Posted By: AnotherStander
Keep in mind that even though you've been at it for many months, you still have many more ahead of you. There's no reason to lose hope yet. Have patience!
When we seemed to be in a holding pattern, I could go on for an extended time unhappy, but functional. I am just so very tired losing ground and watching her move further away.
