You have it figured out, and your email was 100% the right thing to say and no more. While he thinks you are on the shelf he will not value you. He may manipulate you to keep you on the shelf, but it's not sincere.
People value what they have to work for, and do not value that which is given freely.
First you establish that you are WORTH working for through 180, GAL, Act as If, and then you pull back and become unavailable for cake eating.
He won't like that, it will destabize him and make him feel that he's losing control of something he had well controlled, so he will test you, and may test you severely by being extra nice or extra mean. You cannot crack or compromise now or your current pain will be for nothing and you'll be right back where you were.
Time for YOU to evaluate what HE will have to do to re-engage with you. Come up with a list, but don't share it with him until such time that you are convinced he wants to come back.
The harder you are to get, and the happier you seem, the more he will want you, and that is just human nature.
Be strong and have faith -- you are the prize to be won, you are the faithful spouse who has improved yourself. He's a cheater and a liar. He has work to do to be worthy of *you*, not the other way around
Acc
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
