Blowing in the wind....

[RosaLinda]

hi everyone!

Portia, thanks for using the pink pool noodle, it's my favorite color and doesn't hurt as much as the yellow one You are a diamond diva Portia, you are doing so well. Proud of you! I realize that my H is a willing participant in his affair. I believe that both he and RT are using each other for their own nefarious ends. I was pretty convinced that their relationship would fall apart while he is over there, because he is SO sick and so crabby and nasty when he feels like this. He's getting worse rather than better. But I was seriously thinking about it, and RT's goal is to get a green card. I am sure she does not give a fig about whether her intended target-husband is nice or nasty to her. She wants to get married, and get a green card. So I am anticipating that she will overlook any amount of nastiness on his part. I'm sort of sad about this. I have not talked to Chuck about it yet, but depending on how H acts when he gets back, may need to switch things up.

I'm sort of happy that my H is leaving the same day as my surgery. It will sort of be a clean break. We can say goodbye at home and go our separate ways. For any of you whose spouse went on a "trip" with their OP, how did you handle saying goodbye?

Chuck advised me to start to casually touch my H because, while it is NOT his LL, my previous MC had advised me to casually touch H and to make sure that we talked to each other about non-logistical matters at least once a day, and both of those things seemed to help. Chuck said that he had advised casual touching for a couple of his other clients, and it helped them. My H had not said a single word to me for a couple of weeks back then in spring 2010, but since then we have talked every day. But he stopped touching me when he delivered BD2 on April 12th.

My H's LL are WOA and AOS. Those are the ones FY and Wonka recommend I give him in mini doses. Mz. J, about expectations from supplying H's LL, I do it to make him feel better about himself. He is so low and has such low self esteem. I don't expect and sure don't get anything from H from doing this, but it is important to me. Maybe my way of showing him I love him, which you might think is bad. But I really don't expect anything good or bad. And....CONGRATULATIONS on your wonderful new full time job!

Ellie, thanks for describing how you used your H's LL without pursuing. Although my H's is WOA, I think that your idea to stop multitasking and pay close attention while he is talking is really important to my H. One of his complaints about me is that I would read a book or use my laptop while he was watching TV, and he felt disconnected. I am not a TV fan, but now make sure to go into another room to read, and stare at the screen when watching with him.

Wishing, beware of being bitten by your H! Yikes! Good for you for using that full eye contact technique. I think this shows respect, and think that respect is important to all men, no matter what their LL is.

rH, interesting that your H resented your touch during the beginning of his replay, and that he seemed to be "starving" for it even though he resented it. Poor MLCers, so mixed up. I'm glad that while you were preparing to D, you protected yourself by withdrawing touch from him. I wonder why he wanted a hug from you at the same time he was Ding you? I remember you said that he mentioned that your presence was comforting to him in court. That is sort of mind boggling, and must have confused you so much, poor woman. rH you are THE diamond diva! One of those big ones with lots of little ones all around it!