One of the many things I have found comfort in this Board is for unloading. I am generally a very private person. But after a few months, even my closest most trusted friends' eyes would start to glaze over and as a consequence, I minimize talking about my situation unless specifically asked. Even my twice divorced aunt could not muster up any sympathy for me. She said, "Well, you're long distance anyway."
If you have no other "safe place", you know you always have one here. Even better, you know that we understand what you are going through.
I think your "Wish list" is a healthy list describing a healthy relationship which is what we all want and strive for. We realistically recognize that no relationship is perfect and we're willing to play along, but I agree with you that just because H is comfortable and in the house, isn't enough for you.
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There's so much for my H to do it reminds me of the Tasks of Hercules. FIRST, no OW. Not even as a friend. SECOND, Recognize the damage done by cheating. The "Its no big deal" attitude is possibly more painful to me than the cheating itself.
Can't agree with this more. The profound disrespect that this attitude shows has been the most difficult for me to put away and to forgive. Do you think that attitude means that they have no true remorse for hurting us? Guilt, but not remorse. I need to see the remorse - so far nothing. With all the water under the bridge, I will not even be friends if GF is in the picture.
