Living in the Now(or how Ruby got her groove back)

[labug]

Authentically. That is how I know I am wandering away. "what does he or she want me to say?" When I think of what that particular person WANTS to see instead of who I am at this point.

You did a good job of articulating it and that's it in a nutshell, to be honest with ourselves first and also with others. You're right, we don't know our path but we know our boundaries, our values, what is precious to us.

From this outsider looking in it seems that your path at times changes based on H. That's why I said I would like to see your path, living your life free of the issues in his life. Maybe I'm wrong and just seeing again what I did for a long time. We are all mirrors.

My biggest fear was abandonment and being alone, not a fear anymore. I thought, much like you, if I let H go, really let him go, he would drop off the face of the earth and I would be oh, so lonely and alone. There were many lessons I needed to learn in that space.

I'm going to let this go now. I hope you know that I do wish you only the best and that you and H will be together again, when he's fully cooked if that's even what you want at that point in time.

You are a fun, humorous, thoughtful woman who is working on herself. There are many people out there who would truly appreciate that.