I don't see that asking SP's W to move out as punishment. IMO, W is just being vindictive on her end. She wants to cause trouble. She wants this to come to a head. She is reveling in the grief that this causing.
Way too many times it seems that no one wants to stand up for was is right for fear of being labeled something.
My EW's father stood up to her one day and called a spade a spade and my XMIL just about had a fit as did the XW. Bummer. Someone expressing their feelings and it doesn't agree with yours. Too bad... So sad.
Approaching the W and saying something along the lines of that OM is not welcome because of the pot of crap that will be stirred among SP's other family members is not out of line.
Wrong is wrong and no amount of PC feelings of keeping the peace is going to work. W has no interest in any one elses feelings other than meeting her own selfish needs.
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter
