What if H put his feelers out and you didn't take the bait? What if you resisted and he started to feel like you were moving away from him for good?
He would shut down and assume I didn't want him in my life. This I know. But I am going to try to change this dynamic a bit. Don't ask how, but started today a bit to see if this will work for me. In my journal post
Quote:
I think at some point, you said something to the effect that you told H that you might be a WAS at this point.
It was a confession from me. Not control. Control would have been not telling him because he has so much guilt from leaving. He said it made him fell less guilty. But I didn't come to the realization that I was distancing myself until recently. The dynamic in the marriage was not healthy and I know the shock of BD made me realize I loved my H, but he already was gone at that point. Whereas I was just starting that road.
I am going to look into push-pull and co-dependency. I have been thinking about that last one a lot these days.
