Hola from Costa Rica! lol!!! Spin? You been following me? I spent a few days with my grandparents back home, a state away. Pops has late stage Alz and needs round the clock care. My younger sis and I took the weekend to help so my Aunt could go on vacation with her family.
All's the same on the rollercoaster that is my sitch. W still proclaiming her love to me secretly behind her AP back. AP keeps busting her by snooping on her. W keeps double talking her way out of it and AP keeps forgiving her. I just keep being me. Keep on keepin' on.
Forgiveness is a daily process. I am discovering that I am having a hard time forgiving that W lives with AP. I don't know why that feels so much harder to let go of that even the PA. It seems to push me further away from the love feeling for my W and more towards the anger. I don't know. Just something I am processing that caught me off guard.
So I need to drop some lbs. Today I am going to have my blood work, cholesterol, BP, and weight charted with an LPN and set up a plan to look and feel better. I'm excited for it. After W moved in with AP a month ago I pretty much gave myself a permanent hall pass to eat my emotions! So I'm going to use this ongoing counseling to hold me accountable and get me back on track.
Football season is here! I am a college FANatic! Go Gamecocks! Gonna try to catch up with all my peeps. I hope everyone is doing great.
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
You sound great RT! Can't wait for college football either. I consider myself a junkie as well. I'm not a Gamecock fan, but looooove the old ball coach!
M 34 H 35 D 7 D 6 M 10 T 14 Pregnant w/ boy/girl twins-due 12/2013 BD 12/15/12
Hi RT! Good luck with the health plan - since I've been eating well and exercising regularly since my BD 2 months ago, I feel and look better and have more energy!
And I'm excited about football, too! Geaux Tigers!
Me: 27 H: 27 Together: 11, M: 3 S 2 BD: 06/24/13 Living together H: EA - unknown current status Read: DB, 5LL (slowly reading DR) Back and forth we go...
You sound great RT! Can't wait for college football either. I consider myself a junkie as well. I'm not a Gamecock fan, but looooove the old ball coach!
Hey girl!!! Missed ya!
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
Cue the dramatic music... duh, duh, duuuuuuuh. Pan the camera in for a close up of RT's raised eye brow.
Does this theme park sell beer? All this popcorn is making me thirsty.
Continuous messages from the W professing love, admitting mistakes, wanting to put family back together. I finally enagaged and said, well... then why are you still living with AP?
"I can't leave yet. Everyone in my life will say I told you so. My pride is in the way."
Then yesterday I get this really long message. I'll summarize:
Honesty is really hard. I love you. I miss you. You are my priority. You have always been my first choice and always will be but I 'effed all that up. I am being selfish. I know it. Please give me a couple more weeks and let's not talk. AP thinks we aren't working because I still talk to you. I want to prove to her that is not the reason. I feel like if I can do that then I have fulfilled my promise to try and I can leave her and be honest when I say that we just don't work together. I want to come home. I want us. I know I can't ask anymore of you. Please wait just a little longer. All of the atricles on affairs are true. I am realizing that. I am sorry for taking you for granted. I love us more than I love my life.
Well... you get the picture.
Now, how about that beer?
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
Interesting. Thats a pretty strong admission of guilt there. And most vets say to never hold your breath for an apology or an admission of guilt.
Move cautiously now. This could all be a test of whether you are still 'waiting'. And WAW have a way of changing their mind like they change clothes.
Will be following along with you.
Anxious to read the advice from the vets....
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
Let's gather around RT's fire pit in the backyard woods area and exchange our DB war stories! I'll do my part and bring s'mores supplies as Ruby is bringing beer for everyone.
Seriously, RT...you are a rock star in loving detachment. You finally got the hang of it. WTG, buddy!
