It's football season-all is well

[Mtnman]

I guess I should've put "fat" in quotes. Those were her words not mine.

She did attend the MLB game with my entire family. We had a great time, but she was on her phone constantly. I spent my time running to the concession stand and bathroom with the boys. They actually had a blast. Our team won in extra innings with a walk off home run. I made sure we sung all the songs, did the dances, the chants, etc. We rode the monorail and buses going in so the kids could get experience on public transportation.

I still am not able to detach like I should. I wake up every morning with the knot in my stomach. I try to analyze every word and deed. I feel like I'm facing an execution in four months and no one will talk about it.

There was an interesting conversation the other night. She had been excited about going to see a local band play at a bar in town. The boys and i rode dirt bikes that day, but she was at home when we returned late that evening. She made the statement that she "just couldn't be seen down there." Mature for her.

I spend most evenings outside. It's too painful to be around her, so the boys and I play ball or just hang out until dark. She leaves immediately after the boys go to bed.

I dread the school routine that's coming up. That was the most physically demanding time during this. I still hate homework . I do think going back to school will help her realize how tough this is. A monkey could take care of these two during summer break. It's not so easy when you have to maintain a routine and meet responsibilities. It seemed to help draw her to me in the spring.

I'm trying my best to be patient and let the answers come to me. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of missing my best friend. I'm tired of sounding like a broken record on here hahaha!

I've got to keep on fighting. She's worth every second of this.