WR, If you are looking to buy him out, I would urge you to get an appraiser in there and appraise the home. Someone other than a relative. You want to keep this as clean as possible. Yes, he may have put in a lot of work, but the bottom line will be whatever the appraiser has stated. In my case, I had my home appraised, but the looney tune didn't want to go w/that amount, but with what the property assessment office said the home was worth. My looney tune lost $150,000 by doing that.
Your h doesn't hate you, he hates being tied down right now. He hates himself and his life as he knows it. They all say some nasty things and some of them who really go off the rails and say and do some pretty nasty things. The longer he thinks that there is no progress in setting him free, the nastier he may get.
I wouldn't have any more discussions w/him about the house or anything else concerning finances. It's time to leave it in the lawyers' hands and you work behind the scenes to get your home refinanced and get him off your back. Get your financials done this week so that you aren't looking at that reminder every day.
Put your business hat on and go from there. This is now a business deal that has gone bad. I'm so sorry to see you and your boys going through this. BTW, generally when the mlcer is nice they are either up to something or have done something you'll find about shortly. In your case, contacting the boys, the same day you hear from the lawyer. While they are off the rails, you can't trust them.
Take care.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
