New to This - An English Man In Trouble

[Hadlee58]

Hi PatientMan,

Thank you for your reply, its only just shown up on my thread?
You are so right about the things that i know but it can be so hard maintaining a PMA, i guess the only thing that keeps me going is the belief that it will be all worth it eventually i would always think 'what could have been' if i threw the towel in. I know i backslide sometimes when i get the 'put downs' and my wife is having bad days but hopefully these will lessen in time.
I dont think i have fully answered the question on 'what man i want to be' in my own head as yet which is a worry. I guess this man is totally focused and can roll with the punches and be at peace if things dont work out for the better, maybe i am still trying to be a man my wife wants (or thinks she wants). I am not at the point of having the guts to say 'this is me' i am happy whether you want to stay or not, that is not saying that i havent changed so many things for myself and can see a better person for them, if nothing else these forums have helped so much on that front and i will be eternally grateful for all the help and advice i read and get (from my thread and others).
My wife has asked us to sit down tonight for a catch up on 'us' and i aim to listen and validate. One thing i have noticed with her at present is that everyone and everything seems to grate on her. Work colleagues, bosses, her family, my family, her friends, me and the kids, she normally most nights has a complaint about someone or something. It seems she has her own personal set of standards that no one can meet, surely this isnt healthy for her and i so want to rationalise this with her and talk through. I cant see how we can move on until this issue is raised. I think we have all been through periods when everything seems to be an issue so it could just be a phase, my worry is that the situation we are in has caused this.

I will let you know how tonight goes, i am not panicking about this which is a good sign of where my head is at today.

Thanks again for the advice PM

H