Because as you fine ladies and gentlemen know, I'm not the kind of girl who gives up just like that
I know I wasn't close to 100 posts on my last thread, but I felt like I needed a new one after my break here.
There is a lot that has happened in the interim, both good and bad. I continue to be very introspective.
The beach vacation with my sister was wonderful. We literally laid on the beach from morning till evening. There were times I would just lay there with my eyes closed, listening to the ocean, feeling the sun on my skin, and feel thankful for so much in my life.
There were also a few sad and melancholy moments when I missed H or thought about his beach trip.
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H's health has not been well. He's been to the doctor, had a procedure done, but still isn't feeling any better. I am very worried about him. He appears to continue to spiral down...
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A few weeks ago, I overheard H on the phone with FT (he thought I was asleep). I heard him say, "I saw I missed your call, I'm sorry" and "I was hoping I'd get a chance to talk to you" and "I'm f-ed up, feeling really down, I can't sleep." He went for a walk, and I couldn't hear any more.
It didn't sound like things were too rosy.
He has been warming up to me in many ways. Comes up to bed every night now. Asks me often to scratch/apply lotion/rub him.
He asked me to rub lotion on his stomach and thighs the one night. Here's a thought... If we are supposed to treat our in home MLCers like a friendly neighbor... Well, I can't imagine any of my neighbors asking me for a stomach/thigh rub. Just saying!
And no FY, nothing exciting happened after that
He has also been dishing out some compliments lately, telling me that I look nice from time to time.
Still, I know SHE is still around. And it is getting beyond old for me. The affair seems to just keep sputtering along...
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Reminded myself to keep focus on me, and I have been trying to make more of a conscious effort to do so. I have plenty going on between kids, work, and life to keep me busy!
Saw this quote, and it made me think of you all ~
"Every morning you are handed twenty-four hours free of charge. If you had all the money in the world, you could not purchase an extra single hour. So what will you do with this priceless possession? You must use it. And don't forget: Once it is wasted, you can't get it back."
Good night
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
