BD One Year Later

[hopefulinga]

Adventures in housing hunting today. House #1 - full of mildew, stacking washer/dryer, garage obviously a man cave with a bar over the door to lock people out and insulation and tons of outlets (wonder what was going on or growing in there).

House #2 - nice cosmetically, huge kitchen, huge sunroom, only 2 BRs, not practical.

House #3 - OMG, what's that smell. Could only last about 2 minutes and had to run out. Family of raccoons in the attic. Do they come with the property or is there an extra fee?

House #4 - needs paint, rugs, fence. Not perfect, but I could survive. And could probably re-sell down the road.

Venting: I had a political event tonight and ask H if D could hang out with him while I was there. I told him I had an exclusive reception for 30 minutes before the event started.

Well, he heard 30 minutes and decided that was how long I would be gone. Before I left, he was engrossed in talking to his buddies and wouldn't look at me, which made it difficult to communicate with him.

I did tell D that I would get dinner when I was done, but I did not tell him. He also didn't ask when I would be back. When I left with bags of food to pick her up, they were out eating (well before the time H has been showing up at home for dinner). I told H that I intended to feed everyone (as a rule, I will let him know if he is own his own) but I guess since I didn't answer D's call (H never tried) he assumed I wasn't. So he's PO'd at me.

He also got D PO'd at me and she was parroting all that he had said about me, which makes me mad. I don't care that he is mad, and I've stayed away from him tonight so that he couldn't engage me.

Our communication is horrible and I don't see it getting any better short term. I also feel like I'm taken for granted, which is becoming a deal killer. How? H shows up whenever he wants when he knows I'm cooking but when there is uncertainty or I am not at home, he takes D to eat a good bit earlier than when he shows up at home. My world no longer revolves around him and in my future, it cannot.

D and I no longer wait until H comes home to eat. I cook, we eat, when he shows up, I throw it on a plate, put it at the table and leave the room. H now eats by himself.

Contrast all of that to Friday, when we went to an event on Friday as a family (1st in over a year) and with friends. We had a great time. I focused my time on my friends instead of H, which was a 180 for me.