Your doing great with the self discovery! You setting a wonderful precedent for progress. I really am working on getting where you are now. Realizing that it was not all roses in our relationship.
Why would I be attracted to a woman who behaves unkind to me and shows no respect? I would not have dated a person like that 10 years ago so why would I now.
These threads are helping me to lift the fog that I am in as a LBS.
Thanks and keep up the great work!
H 37 WAW 32 S 4 (Autistic) S 2 Together 11 years Married 6 Bombshell Dec 1 2012 House sold, flying solo June 1 2013.
Maritimer- ts old school, but if you havent already get a notebook and a pen and journal every single night to the best of your ability.......It doesnt allow you to run away of keep your head in the sand.
Dont forget the exercise
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
PS, you've expressed some great sentiments in this thread, sounds like you're doing great, keep it up!
Originally Posted By: Positivespin
I'm realizing that as I'm learning more and more about myself - I'm resembling a MLC.
Looking for major life changes Change in appearance Increased thirst for adventure
Nah, that's not MLC, that's GAL!!! EMBRACE it! I identify MLC as crazy actions like spending money one doesn't have or alienating friends and family for no reason. NLW's husband is a classic example, her thread just leaves me with my mouth hanging open at some of the stuff he does. Anyway, there's a big difference between that and wanting to follow your dreams, which is where you are
Quote:
I was looking back - just 2 months ago, when she was still at the house and the things she did, those lies, the muffled phone calls downstairs............why the hell did I put up with it?????
We all go into this thinking we HAVE to fix this, that life without our spouse is NOT an option; and we're willing to ignore a LOT of bad behavior on the part of our spouse to make it happen. WE talk a lot around here about how the WAS is in a fog, that they only remember all the bad stuff in the M. But what we don't discuss much is the LBS is also in a fog, we remember only the GOOD stuff in the M. As times goes on the fog clears for the both the WAS and the LBS. It took me about 8 months to start clearing the fog, I can't say it's completely gone yet but I definitely do not view my W now in the same light as I did right after BD.
I think it is not so much fog, but it is because we still love the spouse. I am not talking huge, I want to be with you don't leave me love, but the kind that stays from spending years, sharing secrets, having kids etc.
Unless it is truly acrimonious, and no one grows because of it, there is some love that remains and we are always willing to give that person a bye, so to speak, on some behaviours that would have us bringing a boot down on someone else.
Positivespin, I've been reading your threads for the past day or two, and you are kinda my hero right now. You are one strong guy and it's great to see how you have progressed throughout the months. It is nice to see that in time I will be doing better than I am now.
Thanks for sharing everything you have!
Me-41 W-41 M-20y 2 teen sons 1 preteen son BD/ilybinilwy 6/8/13 I moved out 7/24/13
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
Me(F):40 WAW:44 T:13yrs M:9yrs BD:2/12 (I saw a text) ILYBINILWY: 5/12 PA admission: 12/12 (began 3/11) S:2/13 Moves in w/AP D begins: 7/13 W moves home to R: 10/13
Please excuse my elitist sounding rant.....I'm laying down in a 2.5 star crap chai hotel in a AAA minor league city.........this is about as close to roughing it/ camping as I've been since I left boy scout summer camp crying like a bitqh for my mommy.
I'm here because I've brought d3 down to see her cousins . She will be attending her cousins birthday party. D3 loves a party
So doors are slamming all around me and the room smells of dirty dish towel but it's ok because d3 is having a blast and she is snuggled here beside me
W has sent me more 1 and 2 sentence logistic emails and she even offered me her car for my trip.........I declined. It prob stinks of OM.
So I've decided. If she threatened to move back into the house,I'll let her- but I'll be gone. I'm done with making it easy fo her, to screw with me.
So I did some reading about blended families- what a crapfest it sounds like.
I'm pooped.....talk to you all later
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
