I called her this morning. D6 answered and I talked to her about her schoolday. Then D4 came on and talked and at last W. She had some practical stuff about getting some things here on Friday. I told her that it will be alright and that I won’t be here. This was possibly a mistake since I would not let a friendly neighbor go into my house without me being here – should I correct this and tell her to come at another time?
No, don't go back and change it.
When we use the example of a "friendly neighbor" we are trying to paint a picture of a person you would see as being polite, throwing up a hand to wave when they see you out in the yard. We were trying to give you something you could have to compare your level of friendliness. But as with anything we suggest about doing, do NOT carry to extremes. You have to use your own good judgement in these matters b/c you know her and we don't. It is easy for me to tell you what to do, but it is your life, not mine.
You are being what I see as normal in most of the men here. I loved how you summarized what you were looking for when you first came, and what you are trying to find now. Sometimes I feel like I am shaking a new LBH so he,will really listen to what is being said. But he seldom is ready to "do" what is advised. Like you said about how you are finally understanding why 25 yrs emphasized GAL. Most newly LBS's don't want to get out and GAL........nor do they truly believe it will make a difference. Once they finally begin to do it, then they can see it has a positive effect.
I like what you said about how you would deal with the calls and the TM, etc. I especially liked the way you said she was not always available for your calls when living together. I liked how you trust each other to do what is necessary for the kids. That is one of those areas where you used your own good judgement b/c you knew better than we did.
As I said before, just don't go to such extremes you act goofy. Your biggest problem was being too much of a "nice guy" you were very emotionally attached. She will notice there's been a change!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
