If we don't speak our spouses LL, then why would they want a marriage with us again? Because we're "showing them what they're missing"? Hmmm. I wouldn't count on that working. They're already "done", remember? Withholding their LL could just as easily confirm in their mind all their reasons for bailing on us. Maybe a good last resort technique if you're done, or on your way to D, like RH was when she cut back on H's LL.
Having said that, I do think there can be plenty of other reasons to pull back a bit, or a lot. (like how it makes us feel, or helps/hinders our ability to cope) And of course we never want to go overboard with LL. That'll only push 'em away.
RH is right when she said every sitch/spouse is different. Like everything else, we have to monitor and do what works... Which reminds me, I need to pull out my official T2 googles and clipboard, spank wife and take notes on her response.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
