About your daughter, she lives with her mom part-time right. You wouldn't want to do anything abrupt that would cause her distress. The fact that you and W are separated and dating others ought to be enough for her to process right now.
I wouldn't stress about whether your W is angry or not. Her emotions, her business. It's seems you've been pretty mild-mannered of late.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
No, I don't wish to put any more stress on my daughter!!! What we have put her through already haunts me. FYI, daughter does not know that I am dating, and she will not for a long time. I think the way Wife is including her into her dating circles is disgusting...I am not a fan!
lately, I have been mild mannered, La. I have however been growing more and more disapproving of wife. I am angry at her even, but I am able to control my anger pretty well. I have not exploded or been dragged into any conflict with wife what so ever, or anyone else for that matter. Steady keel....trying my best. Tomorrow is another day. I wonder what I will make of it.....
So, wife replied to my text regarding her OM visiting my property. As you might recall, she "gave me a heads up", telling me that she was bringing other man here. I said absolutely no way. This was her reply to that....
How do you think that makes me feel seeing you live however you want, but yet you get to control my life? Oh and funny thing. I just called the police. you can not kick him off the property because I invited him and I live there. Would you like me to tell you who you can and can't have to our house, threatening the people in your life and controlling you? How about we grow up and move on and act like adults, instead of getting ugly with each other? How about you start showing some respect and I will do the same. Just so we are clear, I wasn't asking for permission. I have been respectful and also staying away as much as possible. It would be nice if the rules were the same for both of us. I live here too, remember? When was the last time you asked to have people over. Of that's right, NEVER. I wasn't asking to have him spend the night. We were invited to dinner with his racing team, who have camped there for years.
My family has provided Wife with a roof over her head and all of her utilities paid for. This has been going on for roughly 8 or 9 months. Now, she has the audacity to demand that OM be allowed to come here, even to the point of verifying it with the police? It seems like she is forcing this selfish act with no regard to my feelings or my families. Is she out of her mind? I am really contemplating moving her belongings off of our property and out of the apartment while she is gone. She will be away for 5 days on vacation with daughter and OM. She spends 95% of her time at his house, sleeping there almost every single night, and definitely spending the majority of her time with him. Perhaps it's time to completely set her free and move this thing forward....thoughts?
A little recap on my sitch. My family owns a campground. We all work and live here. My house is also located on the property, along with my mothers home, brothers home and my sister and BIL's home. Wife decided on her own to move out of our marital home just after BD. She bailed on me and left me with all of our home costs. There is a studio apartment above our main registration office, and wife posted up in there. My family pays for her utilities and has been allowing her to stay there for roughly 8-9 months, with my persuasion. They want her gone and have so for a while now. I have been doing my best to keep them at bay. The apartment was even furnished when she moved in. She has been using it as her own space, even thought we previously used it for a storage area for all of our store merchandise. I perceive it as my family being VERY gracious. Keep in mind, she left me. Regardless, she is still being supported almost a year later.
She made a reservation to come camping on August long weekend. We comped her stay, again very gracious I believe. NOW, she is demanding that OM will be coming to our property to visit with friends and take in a retirement party taking place in our campground. I said no way. That was where I drew the line. Now, she is pitching a fit, and mentioning that she has even gone so far as to contact the police to see if I had legal course to disallow him in our business....she is out of her mind, extremely selfish, projecting her anger onto me and making it seem like I am controlling her....controlling her for not allowing her Boyfriend to hang out in my backyard???...haha....This is insane to me.
I am just looking for advice on how to handle this situation. I have calmed down enogh now, that I know I will need to make a head smart decision on how I deal with it.....even though I would love to give them both a couple lumps on their heads
I just can't believe how hurtful, tactless and selfish she has become. I expressed to her, a little over a month ago, that I would be pulling away from her in order to save myself emotionally. I even asked her to please start removing her belongings from the house and start seeking a new place to live. She declined. The funny thing is, She has told me over and over again during this process that she hates hurting me. Now she wants to bring her boyfriend to my home?????? It's just BONKERS!!!! What can I do here?
Do you need to do anything? If she contacted the police and asked if he could some onto private property when he was asked not to they probably filled her in. Has she asked anything specific of you after the initial question about him coming on property?
You know I originally was for her living on the property when you were still trying to work on the marriage, she didn't have a job and before she had BF. Things have changed. Have you thought about having the "it's time to get a place of your own or pay rent" talk?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
