NEW LIFE / NEW ME

[Fartiltre]

Last days have been crazy!

Sandi is keeping my head spinning and I am trying to implement all of the advice I have been given by her and others in the last days. At the same time being single father is a mouthful but I am doing just fine. I still feel all good but I am tired 24/7. I need to finish some of my projects or simply just realize that I can’t do it all at one time.

Tomorrow S10 leaves and I will have a week by myself. It has been lovely having the children but I am in fact looking forward to doing things for me the next week. GAL is coming off good and the coming weekends are fully booked with new people, old friends, usual stuff and new things to do. I often look back on the advice about GAL given to me by 25mlc – It makes so much sense now that I am doing it.

W is still on my mind at least a hundred times a day but sadness is quite rare now. I also find myself not spending as much time in here as I did earlier on. I believe I was at first looking for a magic wand, then answers, then I looked for hope and now I am looking for me. I believe this must be an up and therefore a down is properly right around the corner as always.
Thanks for all the support and advice you all have given me the last days!

Doing good F. Keep it up, keep asking questions.

Oh, I will but right now I am having a hard time keeping up to Sandi’s speed – she has more years to carry than me but it certainly doesn’t show right now. It is not asking the questions that will be giving me problems – it is understanding and implementing the answers that needs work and time – so perhaps I should slow down a little for my own sake.

At any rate, thank you again for this help, and F, I am right there with you, giving this whole polite, distantly friendly, thing with my ex, a go.

Back56, I don’t know your sit but if you can use some off this then good but be sure to read what Sandi wrote about going down this path – it is in her opinion not for everyone. I am still new to all this but still I get Sandi when she writes this.

Really pay attention to what she has to say!

Trust me when I say I am doing exactly that!

The way I tied to look at it was like asking for directions. The person your asking is a stranger and you would be generally pleasant, polite and nice. You wouldn't talk to them about their feelings and validate them and you wouldn't agree to pay their car bill or go to a concert with them.
If they got knocked over by a cyclist you would help them up, if they had toothache you wouldn't take them to the dentist.

T, this is good stuff and I thank you! It made the whole picture of the neighbor so much clearer to me and I believe I got it now and that’s the first time! I thought I was doing this but I have been to kind and to nice. I am not sure this is a negative since we lived together but I am glad that I now understand.

I don't think it will be important but if there is no other avenue for contact if needed then where does that leave you?

I liked this one as well, T – made me think! I just posted about this and my conclusion is partly due to this sentence – thanks!

Just tell her you were busy. Period. She doesn't need any complicated explanations.

Why? You're way overthinking this. You have a child together so you can't not ever talk to her. Talk to her when you need to. That's all. Stop acting like you're avoiding her or running away from her. Confront it head on.

You're way overthinking things. I guess you didn't read my post. Get VM for emergencies. Again, you share children together. THEY should be your priority.

Thanks, Bond! I didn’t get your first post until later and unfortunately I think I wouldn’t have comprehended it at that time. I feel like I have been acting for the last five months following the rules, holding back my thoughts, working my 180s and so on – now (today) I am starting to understand this new path and how much it simply matches what I would like to do right now. As I understood Sandi at first I was supposed not to answer calls – I get the picture much better now. Children are my priority and they will stay that way but I won’t get the VM. I simply can’t see it solving anything that a text can’t handle.
You confused me yesterday but that was entirely me not understanding the way I am heading so thank you for trying to adjust me!


And then off course you Sandi2 – words don’t cover my gratitude! You simply rock! Thanks a million!

F