NEW LIFE / NEW ME

[Fartiltre]

Sandi,

So, if I understand correctly, she can text you anywhere, anytime?

Yes, almost! But then again: I am not a guy carrying my cell with me all the time! I don't bring my cell hunting, fishing, running in the forrest or likewise. I like the freedom it makes me feel to put it in a drawer sometimes and simply go off line.
I have given this children-situation a lot of thoughts today and I am possibly coming out as very cold right now, but when we lived together I wasn’t avalilable all the time and neither was she. We trusted each other with the children and their safety and wellbeing. I believe this trust should continue to be there. I trust her with my children and the other way around. I do not have to be available all the time and neither does she. I don’t need to answer her every call just because it could be something about the children….why should this change just because of D?
Am I making sense?

I called her this morning. D6 answered and I talked to her about her schoolday. Then D4 came on and talked and at last W. She had some practical stuff about getting some things here on Friday. I told her that it will be alright and that I won’t be here. This was possibly a mistake since I would not let a friendly neighbor go into my house without me being here – should I correct this and tell her to come at another time?
She mentioned that I owe her some money and I told her that I am not sure this is the case but I will have to go through the expenses for the last months.
That was it! I ended the convo as quickly as possible.

So always ask if there is any doubt....or if my mind gets too fast,for my fingers to keep,up and I leave something out.

I will ask! I have been somewhat confused about answering or not answering her calls.
I forgot to tell her to text me in the future when I talked to her this morning but I will get this done. I will simply state that if anything is wrong with children and I am not able to answer her calls she should always send me a text and that I will do the same the other way around.

But the point is to ask her if anything is wrong, find out the facts, and if all she wanted to do was chat........then you know what to do, right?

Yes, end the call! – As always!

Is that all clear as mud?

I believe I get you and hopefully everybody else does as well.
IMO this wouldn’t have been a good path from day one while living together. It might work now or it might not, but if had done this at day one it would have been more off the same, confirming her decision and a lot of other things that would have worsened my sit – again only my opinion.

Sandi, I am getting closer to understanding what I have to do or in fact what I am already doing! I am still working through all of your advices and making notes for me. When I am done I will post them here and hopefully you will go through them and advise me from there on.

F