Growing a Backbone, No More Cake Eating

[sthelen]

My response to lovethehub's last post in my old thread:

Wow, thank you for your response. I really appreciate the perspective from the other side.

Is your story posted anywhere? I’d love to read it.

However, your H continues to make comments about a future because he IS confused. I know for me, I knew deep inside I would regret it if I left my H - I just didn't know why. When he wanted to work things out after he found out about my A, wanted to go to MC, wanted to go on dates, etc.., I was so angry inside. I thought to myself, "NOW you want to do all of the things I have talked about over the years? Now that I found someone else and I am happy again?"

I'm glad you say he really is confused. Sometimes it feels like he's just trying to keep me on the hook as Plan B. Yes, he has expressed that same anger and said pretty much the same thing.

My H being so willing to make things work probably dragged things out a lot longer because when I finally realized he was truly done with my BS, I got clear on what I wanted.

How did you know he was truly done? What did he say or do?

When you stop the daily phone calls and he realizes you may not be there waiting for him, it will force him to start thinking more about the situation.

I think I am ready to do this. It has taken me 4 months but I think I'm strong enough to take this risk. The risk being...without that little daily connection, I may not have any of him. He may just go on his merry way and never look back.