On two occasions, she opened up about issues she had kept to herself. In both cases, I was entirely to blame for her unhappiness and she admitted no fault. I was careful to listen, acknowledge, and understand without defending or rationalizing.
What she said is totally script for a WAS. Your response was good!
Quote:
As she left, she indicated she really came down to talk about "us", but changed her mind. She was then quick to get in her car and leave without so much as a glance in my direction.
She's obviously not sure what she wants, which is also script for a WAS.
Quote:
she looked at a self-help book I had on the table and said I didn't need to read those anymore. I asked her what she meant.
Your response should have been- "Yes I do, I'm doing this to make myself a better person."
Quote:
I said that we had something great together and I still believed that we could have that again. She started to over generalize; used terms like always and never; as well as only see the negatives in our relationship. I asked that she not close the door and that I could never go back to who I was or the way things had been.
Your response to this was a poor one. You're arguing with her feelings. When you do that the WAS drags out the "always" and "never" ammo just as she did. Don't forget Sandi's tips, especially at times like that!
Keep in mind that even though you've been at it for many months, you still have many more ahead of you. There's no reason to lose hope yet. Have patience!
