This text messaging is really killing me. I know we aren't supposed to try to be "snooping", but I just want to know the truth.
The truth is he is not texting his mother. He is likely engaged in some kind of affair, whether EA or PA. That's usually the case when people suddenly start texting like there's no tomorrow and keep their phone near at hand all the time.
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No army goes into battle without knowing their enemy and having a battle plan.
OW is not the cause, she's a symptom. Marriages don't typically fall apart because of affairs, they fall apart first and then the affair follows. You're not going into battle. You're not fighting your H or OW. You're ignoring OW, you're leaving H alone- giving him time and space. You are working on the ONLY thing you can control- YOU.
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I have no money to try to work on my appearance even for just a new haircut. My new med seems to give me a little bit of energy, so I need to get to exercising to lose the 50lbs I gained working from home. I had LASIK in 2004 and the 20/10 vision I had after that is no more. I've been back in glasses for the last few years. These may all sound like small things to some people, but it took me a long time in my life (27) before I actually felt anywhere close to good about my appearance. I look like crap. I feel like crap. I can't stop thinking about the inevitable demise of the most sacred relationship I've ever been in. I am in such a dark place.
We ALL have had our pity parties. We get it! We really do! Now it's done, so move on from there. Embrace DB'ing- get out and get a life. You have no money? Fine, jog or walk around the neighborhood. Go to the library and read. Call friends and family. Knit. Paint. Just do something to occupy yourself and take your mind off your sitch. Eat smarter and get some exercise, lose that 50 pounds. There is nothing like losing weight to make you feel better about yourself. You will look better and feel better, and I promise your H WILL notice. So get busy!
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He probably won't even care if I get myself back to good.
Oh he will, but more importantly it's for YOU.
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Please help me God. Please help me. Please help me heal. Please Lord give me the strength to overcome this pain.
God doesn't touch you with a magic wand and make you well. He'll give you the tools, like these forums, but he expects you to work like you've never worked before. So get busy and make him proud.
