I stirred the hornets nest and am worried now...

[Not Quitting]

Yes catperson, you do need honesty in a marriage, but it should be freely offered. Confrontation and snooping aren't going to accomplish anything other than pushing your partner further away.

F4ML, read Sandi's Rules - these can be found in the Newcomers section. Among the other rules it say "do not spy on spouse by checking emails, phone bills, etc". Hopefully a vet will come along and give you advice as well, but I'd certainly start by not snooping. You're not going to feel any better by doing so.

Your focus right now is to work on yourself. You cannot make anyone change but yourself. Your H is more than likely not going to tell you the truth even if you do confront him. The only thing that will do is push him further away.

As Too Trusting posted "GAL and don't build your life around him. you're worth more than that! Read the part of DB about MLC. it's not easy to ride out the storm but it can be done!"

You're in for a long bumpy ride on a journey you didn't choose. It's not going to be easy but if you truly believe your H is worth the effort then you're going to do what it takes. Get hold of DB and DR and read them. Read other threads here. Use this forum to vent or journal; posting little and often will get you off moderation. You're not alone; you'll get loads of support on this site.