Living in the Now(or how Ruby got her groove back)

[labug]

Ruby, I don't have the answers, just questions, and more questions, that's how we get to the bottom of our emotions, unearth the real us. The answers for me will be different from the answers for you.

I think you're moving through this in a fine way. I'm not suggesting that you turn your back on him and never communicate again. But when I see you write things like "I get sucked into the vortex" or "he's thrown me under the bus" my question is, how can you avoid getting sucked into the vortex of thrown under the bus?

The dance of Rs is how to maintain and build that emotional connection without being sucked into the vortex of another's "stuff." Letting them own their lives, while we take ownership of and responsibility for ours. It's a process, sometimes a long one.

Your H has been pretty straightforward about what he wants right now. Or am I misreading that?

What does asking for help look like? If it looked like "Hey I need help" many of us would not be in this situation.

For me asking for help looks/sounds like "I need help." Talk more about your second sentence there.

k_g, nice driveby! Would be great to hear more. I think there are degrees and stages to letting go, god knows it took me quite a while. Letting go hasn't changed my feelings for H but I know I'm generally unaffected by what he does or doesn't do and life is...nice, there are infinite possibilities in front of me.

Linda, thanks for your viewpoint.

Many voices make for a great conversation.