That is the key-the judging.

We can only base it on how we would act and how we expect others to act.

When others act differently or not to our expectation, I think we can do one of two things:

judge them, become righteous, indignant, angry and hurt

or let it go.

I am not saying the let it go part doesn't have any emotion tied to it, but when you let something go, all the emotion goes with it too.