lol, you won't be able to admire yourself with all that paper all over the mirror
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
Just a thought. * If I sent the tattoo photo to facebook and all the family and friends saw it and the words "No Second Chances" W and the dates of marriage and DB. Could this be taken as I have given up? If I then don't contact her family/friends nor the W is it showing them I have given up or I won't allow a second chance to the W? If that makes sense. If this is how it can be perceived, should I do something about it? The W knows, or should remember the line, she said it. But what if she takes it as I will not allow a second chance to her? Or do I simply go back to square one, it's happened and let it be? It's just a thought, not a stress problem that is causing my head to go around and around.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
I am assuming you already posted the pic.?? If you already posted the pic then what is done is done and she will either get it or not. You will find out soon enough I imagine. If you have not posted the pic then why would you want to post a pic that has you thinking pro vs con, I'd wait to post it until your comfortable either way.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
Subguy, it was posted two weeks ago. Last week I was defriended by the W, SIL and a good friend.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
I don't know what to suggest. I think if it was me, I would speak to one of her family who's still talking to you and explain the tattoo. You could write them a letter as well if you think they won't listen to you. I wouldn't speak to the W about it, but like you I would feel that I have to explain myself. I'm probably wrong so don't take my word for it, let's see what others have to say about it.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
You have to let it go! Get it out of your head - Continue down the road you have put on your mirror. Do not discuss it with friends or family - just let it go! I do know this is so much easier to tell than to do - but talking more about this pic will just worsen it all! It could be that they see this in a different perspective than you but you do not want to rip this up again so IMO only talk about this if somebody asks you questions about it.
I still believe in you but following you I think I see two different tendencies off yours: You act on feelings too much – we have discussed this so I wont go any further in to this. When you act on thought you have a tendency off either getting doubts or secondly searching for another answer if the first one doesn’t become your feeling right! My point is that I can’t remember a decision you made on thoughts that I believe was wrong!
You posted the yesterday and that’s how you should look at it! At the same time you are looking for answers and explanations that you properly won’t get for a long time. You have this tendency of doubting your first choices of action and this makes your thoughts and actions shift!
* My W isn't contacting me for whatever reasons. I cannot change her. * I married my W, not the family. So if the family don't want me in their life, it doesn't matter. * If my friend cannot be bothered to talk to me about something that either annoys him or he feels wronged in some way, then he should have the "balls" to talk to me about it. Not simply defriend. Again that is his choice, I cannot change him. * If my W wants to continue dealing with the solicitor for the splitting of assets, then I will continue to fight for what I can get. I will be fair, but I won't bend over and take it. * I have to simply accept where I am in life, it's not great, but it could be a lot worse. Deal with it by being positive not negative. * I have to stop being negative about things that are out of my control, actually even the ones in my control. * The tattoo photo would not change my W's way of thinking. She knows the reason I got it (haven't spoken to her). But the tattoo would not be a deal breaker for the W, other things might be, but the tattoo wouldn't change her way of thinking. Who cares what the rest of the family think.
This is excellent! Why the change in thought? Do this and then keep on the GAL! Keep looking in the mirror and keep working the six-pack! You know what to do when you think about it! You have all the answers in your head!
All the best!
F
Me:44 W:43 D7, D5 (S11 from other R)
T: 8y - not M ILYB: 8. Mar 2013 W moved: 1. Aug 2013 LRT: 20. Aug 2013 _______________________________ Do or do not – there’s no try.
F, there really wasn't any changes in thought. My mind is still focusing on those points I made. It was just something I thought about last night. I saw it in a different light so to speak. I am going to still continue on the path I spoke about yesterday. Thanks as always.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
I'm curious as to when the last time you've spoken with W and how it was between the two of you. What have you learned from that particular interaction? Are there any cheeseless tunnels are you running into that you need to stop doing?
My DB mantra is this:
Will this action/behavior bring me a step closer to the goal? Will it elicit a positive reaction from WAS?
And applying the 24-hour rule (or even 48/72 hours) usually works pretty well when you are feeling reactionary or feel the urge to contact the WAS just because you want to.
Like I said I'm still new to this so listen to the vets and F as they're making sense in this sitch It's annoying to let things go I know and if you're anything like me then it will play on your mind for day, weeks and months! I've always been like this, even before H left me. I suppose one thing this break up has taught me is to have patience, not let the slightest thing annoy or upset me and to let things go.
H47 me48 T22 M21 S20 - Got high functioning autism 3/2000 H admits to OW and moves out to live with her 11/2000 H moves back home 2/4/13 H moves out H tells me he wants D 6/13, but now he can't afford to!
