Living in the Now(or how Ruby got her groove back)

[labug]

While you would let S walk his path you would also be a place he could rest should he falter, no? I am not saying you would help him up just give him shade or something to lean on until he got going again.

Good question, one I've done a lot of soul-searching about over the last couple of weeks and the answer has to be, if he asks. I've done much more than that over the last couple of years in the guise of helping and he's stuck. There are extenuating circumstances as he has a serious anxiety related disorder and I've let that interfere with my letting go and allowing him to solve his own problems. It's a thin line to walk and a 20 year old son and a 40 year old spouse are very different in experience and ability but letting go is still letting go.

I'm learning again what detaching with love means.

Me? While I post I tend to use it as a sounding board or to spill feelings that are inside. Guess I should journal on paper. Lol

No, but I think we come here to get differing viewpoints, a new way of looking at things to test our own automatic assumptions. I've gained more from those here who have pushed me to think in a different way. Once I got past my defensiveness, I loved the hard questions.

So how do I balance this better ?

The only advice I have is what I tell everyone pretty consistently, be who you want to be no matter if H is in the picture or not.

Leave him to his own devices.

He knows where you are.

Val gave some good advice a few pages back. She is one here who has always made me see things in a very different way. Still can't believe she's such a young thang!