My head is so very all over the place right now. A part of me still wishes I would go to sleep and not wake up, feeling lousy I do realize adds to that one.

Another part wants to find a way to just go away and live where no one knows me.

Of course there is still the part that wishes the marriage with D had worked out.

Right now I just don't know what to do anymore, so I am sort of trying to do the do nothing.

So many thoughts:

I don't want to be alone / I don't mind being alone.

I wish I could support myself / I don't want to go to college and get a degree to have a job that pays well.

I want the shelties with me / I should start finding them good homes in case I end up in an apartment.

I have nothing to live for / Eventually I might figure out something.

I just don't know why the emotions have went so all over the place now.

I just haven't been this out of it in I don't know how long and it is not pleasant!

Pam

"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned
so as to have the life that is waiting for us"