Those of us who come here/came here usually had the worst situations: we never saw it coming; cheated on; just had kids, etc. We also probably had the completely wrong connection.
We don't control the other person.
Dependency makes division hard. Work on enjoying being alone and using the time to grow. The one thing I can't say gets better is that, although I've adapted to having less time with my kids, I will never adjust to the loss of time with them. I will say though that NOW, when I am with them, I am alone with them without conflict. The method to combat this is to develop a working relationship with your ex. As she wants to date more, she will find YOU to be a great place to leave them. It behooves you to build this working relationship for the well-being of your kids. It's not about you....your soon to be ex...or the settlement. It's about the emotional well-being of the kids. Remember, they love both parents (I haven't read all your sitch).
Believe in yourself. Be in the moment with your kids. Stop everything you are doing, look at them and LISTEN. Take your daughter to get her nails done and tell your son, someday, that 'tough times don't last but tough people do'. Start being the type of man that you would want your daughter to trust and never be shy to put your arm around your son and give him a kiss. I see a boy on my son's baseball team kiss his dad after games and hug him. For a divorced father, it's a powerful thing to see. Fortunately, I have that, too, with MY son. Build it.
Strength and honor (you'd have to WAY back to my thread to see where THAT came from). Chin up.
FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
